Just an Inkling

Honestly, scared is not an emotion I often use. I get scared a lot, especially by Jeff Perkins ^_^, but that's different than right now. I'm honestly scared.

So, I've been super exhausted these past few days. I've been trying to get to bed earlier, but I always end up hyper and not wanting to fall asleep, so I either go play video games with Matt, or write whatever is on my mind, usually in a story form, until I feel ready to go to bed. And then I fall asleep to music or Scrubs. And tonight, I finally felt tired enough. And it was 9 o clock! Score. So I put on some Scrubs, and finally managed to fall asleep. For like an hour. And then I wake up. And terror set in. I can't hear out of my left ear. I tried to stay calm. Ran to the bathroom, wielded my Q-tip, and dove in. It didn't work. I still couldn't hear. Terror sunk in. Panic stayed away though. I walked downstairs and found dad on the computer. Listening to some Keith Green. He's pretty awesome, Keith Green. Got some interesting music. I sat there with dad for awhile just watching and listening. It was nice. What I could hear. I didn't tell dad though, cause he soon rushed up to check on mom, who had apparently woken up, although it was late. Amanda was down there, so I told her, and she tried to help. I asked her to pray for it first, because I felt like that was the most important step, and after reading George Muller, I knew that God could do it if it was His will. She told dad about my ear afterwards, and he got some Hydrogen Peroxide, and started putting it in my ear to see if it would clear it out. About an hour later, no luck. It helped a bit, but I still cannot hear out of this ear. I'm scared. But at the same time, it's weird but, I almost don't want it to leave. Like I'd been wishing it would leave, and at the same time, wishing it wouldn't. I guess it helps me dwell more on what I've got. And I realised I could live without my left ear, and I wouldn't mind too terribly. Sure, it would suck. But it's a trial I could deal with. I think it would help me grow closer to God. Which is the path I've been trying hard to stick on lately. Still, I hope it goes away... It's a really scary feeling.
Anywho. Here I sit with a clogged ear. Probably going to sleep in a bit. Pray it gets better?

Goodnight!

-Mikey